Through Your Eyes
by SongofThunder
Summary: Talonclaw loses his faith in everything when his mate dies giving birth to his kits. He leaves them in the care of another and avoids the nursery because they remind him too much of their mother. However, one lively kit follows him as he abandons the Clan one day, and while he heads on, her innocence reminds him of what it truly means to live. (Slightly changed challenge prompt.)
1. Chapter 1

"Silverdawn, push!" A silver tabby queen pushed harder. Blood pooled around her as four kits slid out. The queen collapsed, exhausted. A slim brown cat nosed at her, his warm orange gaze lighting her up.

"Well done. They're beautiful." Shinefall pressed cobwebs onto Silverdawn, but Silverdawn shook her head. Shinefall hesitated, and then nodded. Silverdawn was becoming weaker.

"Talonclaw," she rasped. "Help me name our kits." Talonclaw nodded, then rested his tail on an orange kit.

"Emberkit." He nosed a black kit, who wailed. She was strong. "Nightkit." He saw the brown kit, just like him, and his gaze softened. The kit opened his eyes, revealing a sharp-eyed stare. Talonclaw laughed. "Hawkkit." Silverdawn let her tail curl around the last kit, a gray tabby kit the color of cinders.

"Ashenkit." She laid down, her flanks heaving. "Goodbye, Talonclaw." Talonclaw's wail could have woken StarClan.

"What? No. No! Silverdawn, you're coming with us."

Silverdawn pushed her nose into his fur. "I go to walk with StarClan now…" Talonclaw pressed his foreleg against her, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

"Oh, Silverdawn… why did you go on that walk… Silverdawn, you just need rest… Silverdawn, don't leave me!" Silverdawn was breathing her last breath.

"I love you, Talonclaw… take care of our kits." Talonclaw curled around her.

"No, no, no! Please, don't go! You had a lifetime ahead of you… we talked about seeing our kits' warrior ceremonies… you said you wanted more kits… you wanted to watch our kits have kits… don't go, don't leave, don't leave our kits! Don't leave me!" His words were wasted. The caring and warm gaze Silverdawn had once carried was now blank and lifeless. The kits wailed, pressing against their still-warm mother, but her flanks were no longer moving. Silverdawn was gone.

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 **AN: So what do you think? This story has been in my idea bank for a long time, and only recently did I decide to publish it. I've already written everything, from beginning to end. It's literally only a few chapters long. Thanks for looking! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Talonclaw crouched, ready to hunt a shrew, but he hesitated too long and the shrew ran. He sighed and sat up.

It had been more than a moon since Silverdawn died, and he couldn't believe it. He could still remember her- she had always followed him, and whenever he got into a crouch she would leap in front of him and catch it. He stalked a bird, and then ate it. He no longer cared about the warrior code. What code let innocent cats be torn away from awaiting lives?

For all he cared, StarClan didn't exist. It had torn Silverdawn away from him. Her kits would never know who she was. They had a new mother now. He'd given them away. Wildspirit was suckling them. She was their mother, for all they knew. And none of them knew he was their father. Wildspirit's mate, Stoneheart, was their father. He'd been nothing but an empty shell.

He'd left Briarstar's orders, defied them, to go on walks to her favorite trail. He thought hard. Did the Clan want him anymore? No, he decided. He'd done nothing since she died. He'd decided it even before he got up. He was leaving his Clan. Maybe he'd find a mate again, but he doubted it. His Clan and code were nothing anymore. He no longer cared. As far as he cared, he'd lost everything. He was an only kit. His parents were dead.

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 **AN: I guess I'm posting one chapter a day, so like me xD**


	3. Chapter 3

Talonclaw (he supposed he should keep his warrior name) went into camp and began eating a mouse. He would need his strength.

He left right afterward, not noticing the small shadow creeping behind.

He was already long out of the borders when the shadow leapt.

Talonclaw felt a heavy lump fall on him, and, startled, he fell.

"Gotcha!" A kit was leaning over him, her green eyes full of laughter. "Nightkit said I couldn't do it, but I proved her wrong!" The kit bounced around, clawing at the air. "Take THAT, Nightkit! Ha, ha ha! I did it!" Talonclaw looked at the kit irritably.

"Why are you so far out here?! Shouldn't you be with your mother?"

The kit shrugged. "No, my mother's gone. But it's okay, Wildspirit told me that when I'm older I'll see her again!"

Talonclaw's eyes widened with surprise and shame. He hadn't even recognized his own kit. "What's your name, little one?" The kit gave him a look.

"Ashenkit."

So it was true. This was his kit. Wildspirit had been soft on her, but it was true. She would see her mother when she was older, once she died. "So now where are we going?" Ashenkit bounced.

"Talonclaw sighed. "I'm leaving, Ashenkit. Go back to camp." Ashenkit was stubborn. "Why are we leaving?"

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 **AN: Yepperdoo, again!**


	4. Chapter 4

Talonclaw told her gently. "No, I'm leaving. Not you. I'm leaving because I'm sad that a cat died." Ashenkit stared.

"That's a stupid reason," she said finally. "Emberkit got sad because there wasn't any prey he liked because Lilypaw took it all to the elders even though he wanted some, but I told him not to think about it." Talonclaw stifled a laugh. That wasn't at all like his situation, but at least she was trying. Ashenkit looked down.

"Just because you're sad about something doesn't mean you can be sad forever. It's just one day in a whole lotta moons." Talonclaw nearly choked at her words. They were wiser than a kit's words usually are. And they were nearly an exact match of Silverdawn's.

 _Talonclaw sat down in the Warrior's Den and moped around. Silverdawn padded over. "Something wrong?" she asked. "Since my father died," he answered, "I'm afraid my mother will miss him too much to do anything." He looked out the entrance to see Quietsong, her head buried in her paws in grief. Silverdawn nudged against him._

 _"Just because you're sad about something doesn't mean you can be sad forever. It's just one day in many moons. If Briarstar lost a life defending from foxes, would she be sad about it and mope? No. She lost it doing something that mattered to her- fighting for her Clan. Just like your father." She looked out of the den. "And Quietsong knows. She won't dwell on anything like that. When your brother died, and you were her last kit, did she stop? No, she kept working. She raised you. She knows that if she stays sad, she won't get anything done." The look in her eyes was wise beyond years. "And that is what makes her strong. Stronger, than you believe her to be…"_

Talonclaw smiled at the memory, but his smile faded. Silverdawn was gone. And there was nothing he could do to save her. Nothing. But, he decided, perhaps he shouldn't dwell on the pain too long.

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 **AN: This is actually the second-to-last chapter before the epilogue, I think.**


	5. Chapter 5

They walked on. "So where are we going?" Ashenkit bounced.

"I don't really know," Talonclaw admitted.

Ashenkit was starting to get on Talonclaw's nerves. She kept pointing to everything. "Look, a flower!" or "Look, a cave!" She bounced around with limitless energy. Just like her mother… No. He had to stay strong. She nudged at him. "Look, Talonclaw, a sapling!" She bounded over to it and her look saddened. "It's burned, though." She poked it and leapt back. "OW! It's still hot!"

Talonclaw huffed. "Okay, Ashenkit, let's go…" Ashenkit looked up pleadingly. "But-"

"Yes, I get it, I don't want to stay to see the dying embers of a tree-"

 _Embers. Emberkit._ Talonclaw looked up, his eyes filled with tears. Ashenkit walked along. "Hey, didn't you say you wanted to go…?"

 _Hawkkit. Nightkit._ Talonclaw shook his head to clear it. But he couldn't stop thinking about the kits he left. "How tall do you think it'll grow?" Ashenkit looked up at him with wide eyes. Talonclaw picked her up and walked on. "Wait! We'll never know if we don't stay!" _Never know._

He'd never know how big his kits would grow, or if they'd be warriors…

He'd never know if they had kits…

 _They'll remind me too much of Silverdawn, and I'll probably die of grief,_ he told himself. Just like he always had. But for the first time, he wasn't sure it was true. He looked down at Ashenkit. He noticed how much like Silverdawn she was. Laughing green eyes, dark, jagged, twisted stripes, and her gray kit-fur had grown out to be shining and silver. Like her.

"How old are you?" he asked suddenly.

Ashenkit blinked delightedly. "I'm two moons old and I'll be three soon!"

He hadn't even noticed. He'd been so caught up in his own pain that he hadn't even noticed his kits for three moons. It was true that Ashenkit reminded him of Silverdawn. But it didn't hurt. Instead, it filled him with a warm feeling, to see her innocence, like a part of her was still here.

Ashenkit collapsed, clearly exhausted, but still staring at the burned tree.

Talonclaw nudged her. "Come on, it isn't far. I'll carry you."

"Where are we going this time?" Ashenkit asked weakly.

Talonclaw smiled, looking down as he picked up Ashenkit and placed her on his back.

"We're going home, Ashenkit. We're going home."

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 **AN: This is probably my least-favorite chapter, not the scene, but I hate the way I wrote it. Next chapter will be the last! I'll probably make a poll next on what I should do for a sequel or something.**


	6. AUTHOR'S CONCLUSION

**AN: Hi everyone!**

 **I was going to do an epilogue, but I decided- well, I think there's too many spoilers.**

 **So, no.**

 **This story's now complete! For once in my life.**

 **If you liked it, please enter the poll on my user profile.**

 **Thanks!**

 **~Song**


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